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Saturday, May 26, 2012

Tomorrow Never Comes

Hello,

This is my first post so let me introduce myself. The name I chose to give you is Miri. I am a young 40 year old who has been married for over 20 years (mostly happy) and I have a 10 year old son. All my life I have been physically active and as such have really never struggled with weight until 10 years ago when my son was born.

To start off, I was 10 lbs over weight when I got pregnant (though I would KILL for that weight now) and I gained 40 lbs with my pregnancy. Within the first three years after my son's birth I struggled to lose my post pregnancy weight but one day I just set my mind to it and within 1 year I dropped to a comfortable 154 lbs. Now, don't get me wrong I say that was a comfortable weight, but I was still 20 lbs away from my ideal weight which is 135lbs. I am 5'2 and even though the weight charts say I should probably be 120 lbs I would never be comfortable at that weight. My number is 135-137 and that is my goal.

Fast forward to to four years ago when my life began to change with grown up problems. I found out that my husband cheated, my mother in law whom I love like my own mother almost died, I got laid off from work, and it goes on and on and on.... These are all problems that are normal and in some cases frequent with some people yet they don't take refuge in food, but I did. I have always had a pretty good life with basically few hiccups. I have a great support system of family and friends and have always been considered by them as "the lucky princess". Compared to what others have had to endure, I think some would still consider me that. But what they don't understand is that because of my eazy breezy life, I lacked the coping skills to deal with all of those problems when they showed up at my door. This was the beginning of my weight struggle.

Today I sit in my kitchen having my coffee, writing this blog and once again making promises to myself that tomorrow I will start my fight to lose this weight, but I am also so scared that tomorrow will never come.


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